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Lesbian DJ And Crazy Old Rich Lady Square Off

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When Samantha Ronson isn't busy setting her celebrity mess friends up for paparazzi photo ops and counting her money, she finds time to tell Candy Spelling to shut her cakehole on MySpace. You see, Candy wrote yet another open letter to TMZ - this time criticizing Britney Spears. Samantha saw fit to criticize Donna Martin's Moms methods.

i don't understand the idea of writing an open letter to someone via a gossip website.... it was weird when she knew the person- though- i'm not sure if it's stranger to write an open letter to someone you know- or someone you don't know- either way it's insane! that would be like sending your father a father's day card through your local newspaper... i don't get it.... although it is nice to see old people using modern technology- on second thought she probably has some underpaid and overworked young girl taking dictation.

does she honestly think anyone cares what she has to say? wait... do u think people care what she has to say? maybe there is a market for her.... hmmm, maybe somewhere in texas, perhaps? i mean shouldn't she focus on her own children???? doesn't seem to me like she is all set on the home front.... but there is not one part of me that feels the need to send her an open letter- if i was gonna send an open letter to anyone it would be to joni mitchell and would start a little like this....

dear joni mitchell,
you're awesome.....

i wouldn't send an open or closed letter though- i think i would just put on one of her cds and enjoy.... hmmm, that's a thought.... have a good one everyone!!! xoxo

I don't have a problem with Samantha Ronson. Awhile back, she blogged about how much of an asshole Jamie Foxx is (which is obvious) and I think if you have to be friends with someone as irritating as Lindsay Lohan, you may as well make some money doing it. Candy Spelling on the other hand seems like one of those old ladies who wouldn't say boo until her husband died and now suddenly she's all the rage down' the bingo parlor with her newfound money and devil-may-care attitude. I think she needs to channel this energy into f*cking the gardener.


Jessica Biel Didn't Take The Hint


Last week, Justin Timberlake was all up in the papers giving Jessica Biel the hook. Either that didn't take or she beat the stuffing out of his micro ass because she's back on tour with him. What is going on? Why do people lie? Why must we play such games? Seriously, she probably busted down his hotel room door, tore the chain right out of the wall, and got him in a headlock. After he started to cry and scream that he would never make her look bad in the press again, she was satisfied. She's an Amazon, and you know they have one of those psychosexual fetish mixed wrestling type relationships. *shiver* Hey, it beats having to hang out with Diaz.

Biel, 25, arrived in Amsterdam Sunday evening, and she and Timberlake, 26, holed up in The Dylan, a romantic five-star hotel.

On Monday, they arrived in Stockholm. That evening, the pair - with a 13-member entourage - ate at Stockholm's Beirut Café, a Lebanese restaurant. "They seemed like an ordinary couple in love," owner Elias Karroum tells PEOPLE. "They were very sweet."

Adds Karroum: "They also tried to smoke a water pipe with apple-flavored tobacco. They said they'd tried it before, but we had to show them how to do it properly."

JT's already mentioned he likes the herb, so I'm sure he's done that before. I'm shocked that Biel lets anything close to impure enter her Glamazon body. After all, she has to be fit for that competition she has to enter on Paradise Island to win the right to travel to Man's World to fight crime, and battle for peace with her golden lasso and bullet-deflecting bracelets.


Remains of the Day: Jude Law's Nanny Bags a Singer

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  • Daisy Wright, the nanny who bragged about banging Jude Law while he was still engaged to Sienna Miller, hooked up with another famous dude. [CW]
  • I'm not sure about the pregnancy rumors, but the rumors regarding Nicole Richie's engagement are probably false; Nicole borrowed the huge "engagement ring" she wore to a party last week. [WLC]
  • Check out Madonna's new video for the single "Hey You." [ICYDK]
  • Kate Moss put her modeling career on hold for an evening to be Pete Doherty's trusty roadie. [DH]
  • Amy Winehouse got affectionate with her husband following the MOJO Awards, much to the dismay of the other passengers in the car. [Glunp]
  • Congratulations, Hilary Clinton: you chose the worst campaign song of all time. [HP]
  • Ace Amerson of "Real World: Paris" snuck a peek at Justin Timberlake's junk backstage at the VMA's: "I knew that his penis was way bigger than mine." I knew it, too. [POTP]

O.J. Has Balls, Even For A Psychopathic Killer

Filed under: OJ Simpson

Ojsimpson061907Multiple murderer O.J. Simpson had a book and television deal underway in Nov. 2006 for a tome he penned called "If I Did It", which purported to tell HIS theory on who who killed his ex-wife Nicole and waiter Ron Goldman. Yeah, breathe slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth to deal with the nausea. Only in America can you almost make bank off having slaughtered a couple of people - one of them being the mother of your children. Anyway, that got the kibosh when someone with taste stepped in. TMZ has gotten ahold of the manuscript and it's about as vomitous you would think a memoir by someone who got away with double murder and is trying to cast himself as the hero would be.

I'm going to tell you a story you've never heard before, because no one knows this story the way I know it. It takes place on the night June 12, 1994, and it concerns the murder of my ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her young friend, Ronald Goldman. I want you to forget everything you think you know about that night because I know the facts better than anyone. I know the players. I've seen the evidence. I've heard the theories. And, of course, I've read all the stories: That I did it. That I did it but I don't know I did it. That I can no longer tell fact from fiction. That I wake up in the middle of the night, consumed by guilt, screaming.
Is that a confession? America? America. Keep reading for the part where he's covered in blood which I'm sure is supposed to be metaphoric but we all know he was chopping off heads left and right.


You Spin Me Round: Wu Tang Clan Ain't Nothing to Eff With


After an extended hiatus, Wu Tang Clan recently announced plans for their fifth studio album, titled 8 Diagrams. This disc marks their first effort since the 2004 death of founding member Ol' Dirty Bastard. Wu Tang mastermind RZA claimed the group found it nearly impossible to carry on without him.

"We still miss him every day... It's like you lost an arm or a leg, you feel incomplete. He was a very special person, like a very rare diamond. You know, it's like you wake up one day and they're saying: 'There are not diamonds in the world anymore, just cubic zirconia...'"

Bizarre quotes about cubic zironia aside, the new disc should be amazing; the remaining eight members teamed up with a number of guest performers, including E.Z. Mo Bee, Marley Marl, Q-Tip, DJ Scratch, and super-producer Nile Rodgers.

According to RZA, Wu Tang will play a pair of shows in London this summer, with a proper tour of Europe to follow. So get excited to see the group, but don't call it a comeback.

"This isn't a comeback. We never went anywhere in the first place, we were just working on various different projects and this is the first group album in six years and the first European Wu Tang tour featuring all members."

You Spin Me Round continues, plus this week's free MP3 is after the jump.


Nicole Richie Fighting For Her Right To Drive The Wrong Way Down The Freeway While Stoned Out Of Her Gourd

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Nicole Richie will be fighting her DUI charge in court, according to her lawyer . A trial date has been set for July 11. Nicole has a prior DUI, and if convicted - she might be incarcerated for up to 90 days. If you'll recall:

Richie was arrested last December after she was driving the wrong way on an L.A. freeway. Cops say she confessed that she had been smoking pot and had taken Vicodin.
Jesus, I'd be faking a pregnancy, too to escape the big house. I'd have a pregnancy pillow under my shirt, and a whole morning sickness routine, and be talking baby names. It's a miracle, they'll say! I'll even dilate something if I have to!


Jennifer Aniston Gets a Visit From Brad Pitt's Mom

Yep. Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt's mom Jane Pitt got together this past Sunday for a chat. Celebrity Babylon was there to snap the pix.

It's no secret that Jennifer Anison has managed to stay friends and chat on the phone with her former mother-in-law Jane Pitt -- but is it well known that they still meet up for emotional gab fests? Celebrity Babylon stumbled on a highly organized stealth visit on June 17, that had Brad Pitt's security team escorting his mother Jane in a black SUV to Jen Aniston's rented Malibu beach pad. According to our Celebrity Babylon snapper, "The second the SUV was feet from the place, Jen's bodyguard rushed out and got the door for Jane. She was quickly taken into the house where she stayed for the next two hours." Two hours, huh? That's long enough to talk about that witch Angelina Jolie, 32, who stole Jen's husband and ruined her life, right?
I'd like to think they have other things to talk about other than Angelina Jolie.


No Real Paris News, But We're Trying Here

Paris Jail Banner

The latest on our up-to-the-minute coverage of Paris Hilton's jail time concerns her attempts to make her cell a bit cozier. The heiress had put up pictures of her family on the walls, but they were taken down by guards. When Kathy and Rick Hilton called Greta Van Susteren on her FOX News show, "On the Record," Kathy said that Paris told her mother that this is how her daughter is spending her time at the moment.

"I look at the ceiling. I look at the walls."
And Rick Hilton touched on the subject of Paris' Father's Day card, in which she depicted her father, "holding her hand against the glass with her on the other," and described it as "kind of cute." Man, jail sounds boring. I want to hear about Paris joining a gang, or befriending another prisoner with a tattoo on her back that is really a map of the jail, as well as an escape route. I want a file baked into a cake, dammit! And the Hamburglar! I have a skewed sense of reality.


Who's the Baby?


It's Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise enjoying some time in the south of France.


Rosie O'Donnell REALLY Wants "The Price Is Right" Gig

Like REALLY wants it. The former co-host on "The View" already has the go-ahead from Bob Barker himself and also has a meeting with CBS this week to discuss the possibility of her stepping in to replace Barker as host of the popular game show. On her website, she wrote:

"If they asked me, I sure would ... I LOVE THE PRICE IS RIGHT."
I know I'm going to sound like a total communist when I tell you that I haven't ever even seen an episode of the show and can't remember if it's the game show I'm thinking about where people show up in weird outfits. I have no idea. All I know is that "The Price Is Right" set is right around the corner from "The Tyra Banks Show" offices and based on the potential for some insane Rosie vs. Tyra mayhem, I really, REALLY want Rosie to land that gig. I can smell some awesome vogue-offs in their near future.


Liquid Lunch Ep. 35 - "Wedding Bells and Taco Trucks"

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Lisa enjoyed a visit to the Normandie Elementary School, where she saw tiny Hilary Duff doing some good. The Olsen twins turn twenty-one years old and Lisa and Wayne think they're going to get them some money for their birthday present. Get it? Cause they don't have any. "Fantastic" is not exactly how our beloved LLP Podcasters would describe "Fantastic Four"--well, at least not Jessica Alba. Wayne's all classy and talking about the Tony Awards and the toast of Broadway. Lisa just likes toast. And Wayne schools the ladies on how to wipe. (Thanks, Oprah!)


Rumer Willis Is One Stoned Pigeon

Rumer is all done up on the weed, and loving life. Good for her. It's gotta be hard to have two very good-looking movie stars for parents, and look like a normal chick. Seriously, if I was watching Charlie's Angel's 2 and saw my Mom coming out of the ocean at age 40 in a bikini looking that hot, I'd cash in my chips and move into a damn bell tower. Demi gives ME a boner, and I'm strictly dickly.

That's some good shit. Check out the Matrix action and the smoke rings she and her gal pal are trying to blow after the jump. PARTY!


50's Baby-Mama's Eyes Just Got Bigger

50 Cent recently hit pay dirt when the parent company of Vitamin Water, Glaceau, was purchased by Coca-Cola. The buy-out was for $4.1 billion, and 50's ownership in the company has earned him $100 million in one fell swoop. And his baby-mama, Shaniqua Tompkins, was thrilled to hear the news. Tompkins, who is the mother of the couple's 10-year-old son, Marquise Jackson, is anxious discuss 50's altered financial situation and how it will affect his child support payments for Marquise in court. From Page Six:

Her lawyer, Raoul Felder, told us, "This will be a subject of the trial." A lawyer for the rapper says, "The extent of his worth is irrelevant. He always has and always will support his son."
Screw putting money in a 401k. I need to have a rich rapper's baby. Someone get me a Wonderbra and some fertility pills. Mama's going investin'!


Fashion Disaster: Fergie


Fergie and fashion go together like warm beer and month old potato salad. See if the Editors have some thoughts to lend The Duchess of Fug out of the disaster house.

J.Harvey: Did she get into a fight at the incontinence clinic?

Lisa: I have to say, I'm so used to Fergie wearing such an abominable combination of strange tube socks, high-heels, short-shorts and WAY too many accessories, that this outfit actually looks like one of her better choices, as far as I can see. Sure, she's got a bit of a camel-toe going on there, and the fact that there are suspenders (or overalls, I can't tell here) involved confuses me, but her midriff is concealed and that makes me happy.

Cara: I don't know which is worse.... high waist jeans with suspenders or stirrup pants. My God. There is just something wrong with the world and I blame it on Fergie. I just don't understand the appeal she has. I bet she has blow flavored nipples or a magic weave that has managed to hypnotize us all.


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